Life is full of “what ifs”. Choices that define who we are. I believe that in every difficult situation, I always make the wrong choice. It’s like the right one is hidden in a corner and laughing at me. The most common mistake that I‘ve made was that, when I was at a crossroads, I didn’t make any choices. I was a mere viewer of the events that I should participate in. I have chickened out more times than I can remember. One day I decided to man up, make my own decisions and face the consequences. Yesterday, while I was making my coffee, I considered the choices that I’ve made. A big WHAT IF took form in my mind and it is still there.
What if I had been braver and talked to that girl?
What If I had made that trip I always wanted to make?
What if I had learned how to play the guitar or another instrument?
What if I were closer to my parents?
What if I hadn’t given up on writing three years ago?
What if I had more friends?
What if I had asked her all the questions I wanted to ask before we broke up?
What if I had made the right decision then?
What if I had known how to make a right decision?
With my characters, I make the choices that I wanted to have made and I create different versions of those situations I‘ve been in. After some thought, it seems that there is no right or wrong decision. I’m not complaining, I have learned valuable lessons that shaped my personality. My characters haven’t learned anything yet and this is the reason I am so mean to them. They have to learn the hard way, just as I did. What do you believe? Is life a big WHAT IF?