How does a fictional character feel about writers?

This is an interview with a fictional character. It may be a satirical text but if you consider it, the heroes in our stories always have to handle very difficult situations that most us will never face in our everyday lives.  After all, characters have a will of their own.

As Stephen King said: “I try to create sympathy for my characters, then turn the monsters loose.”

If fictional characters were real this whould be the most realistic opinion about their writers. Or I will rephraze: if I was a character in a book, this would be my opinion about writers. With a small dose of humor of course…

Host: “Hello, ladies and gentlemen! Today we have a special guest. He’s a character from a book that’s coming out these days. It’s a fascinating mystery called It’s raining bullets. Isn’t that so?” he asked the guest.

Guest: “Yes. It’s an amazing book. It’s… I can’t find the words to describe it.”

Host: “The name of this evening’s guest is -” The host leaned towards him and whispered:  “What’s your name?”

Guest: “I don’t have one.”

Host: “How should I call you?”

Guest: “Call me whatever you like.”

Host:  He squirmed in his seat. “His name’s Bob.”

Guest: “But I’m a woman .”

Host: “Really? You look like a man.”

Guest: “How flattering?”

Host: “Her name’s Lorie then. ” He cleared his throat. “Lorie, why are you dressed and wear your hair like a man?”